Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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