Screwed.edu
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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