He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
