as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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