I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
