Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
