i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize