If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize