I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
