Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
