wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
