I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
