Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
