There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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