He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I didn't notice because vodka
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
