i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
