none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
