nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Let's get the cat blown out
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
