If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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