and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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