proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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