She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
