i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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