Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
