Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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