It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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