the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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