woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize