I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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