I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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