He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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