JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
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I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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