And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
