I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
