forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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