you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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