Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
