There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
