ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
