Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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