You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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