At least make sure they are 18
Why
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
