are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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