i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize