i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
