I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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