too bad you live with your parents still
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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