He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
