Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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