At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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