it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
