He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Are my feet made of real feet?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
