Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
