The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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