Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
