Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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