So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
