I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
