North Korea, Best Korea!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
