is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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