Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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