with your own penis?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
