You're my little dorito
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
