Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
