He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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