there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
