My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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